do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my shit smells like andre
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
