my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
