whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
