who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
