Pregnant stripper...not hot.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
