i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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