party gras won. party gras always wins.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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