Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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