Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
