If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Randomize
