We're facebook friends in real life
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
