Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
