people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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