It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
