everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
