exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
