A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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