I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
