Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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