Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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