I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
