Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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