So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
