yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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