brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
