he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
this hospital has no fireball
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
