On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
