Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
