why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
