I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
