im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
