Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
