Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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