dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
