If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
