My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
