I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
