That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
