I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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