dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
