Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You took a bar mat shot.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
