Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
