I heard we made out
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
