And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize