do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
