You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize