i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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