STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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