Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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