You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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