marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize