How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
They have beer where we have blood.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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