wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
home. puking in laundry basket.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
