my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Mom said you looked used
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
