Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I will pee on everything he values.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
