afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
