Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
