what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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