Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
