Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
