She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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