I just made out with a guy for $7.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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