Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize