Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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