do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
