Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
